He’s Always There
Deuteronomy 31.6: He will not fail you or abandon you. “Well, thank god for that, because his being there no matter what has made such a difference in my life.”
This is something that I just don’t get; just do not understand. Evidently, we are supposed to be comforted by god’s presence in the “presence” of evil, wrong doing, and when terrible things are happening to us. How often, if raised in church, have you heard this being thrown out to someone struggling? Hell, I hate to admit it, but I’ve been the one throwing it out to others. I used to perform memorial services for people who had lost loved ones, and one of the ways I attempted to comfort them was to assure them that god had been right there with them at the onset of their loss and has been ever since.
Imagine having a human friend, who sees what is happening, is standing right there, while you are going through a horrible ordeal. Now imagine that this friend merely stands by watching while you go through whatever hell it is you experienced. In the midst of that hellish nightmares, this “friend” is standing by, watching. Not doing a thing to intervene. To stop the nightmare. To actually help. Just standing there, doing nothing. And, now, imagine long after those horrific things have taken place, that same “friend” is trying to comfort you, by saying, “Hey, I was there with you the entire time. I witnessed everything you went through.” How would you feel about this? Comforted? Somehow, I doubt it. I’d be willing to bet that you would be angry and would feel like you had been betrayed—stabbed in the back, if you will. And I don’t blame you; that is exactly how I would feel, and how most would feel.
In the above example, the “friend” standing by watching and doing nothing is human. How much more unspeakable would it be if the one standing by watching and doing nothing was the all-knowing, all-powerful god of the bible, the one who says he’ll never leave you or forsake you? How angry would that make you, knowing that an all-powerful god was standing there, watching you as you went through your hell, doing nothing to intervene. And it gets even worse when you realize that according to christianity, he set you up to exist in a world wherein these horrific things happen repeatedly. You are living in a world that can be hell, full of suffering and loss and death and misery—all because you were declared guilty of something your great great great…granddaddy did. But fear not, the god who set you up promises to always be with you, standing by and watching, yet doing nothing—absolutely nothing—in spite of having told you in “his word” to ask him for anything. Isn’t it comforting to know that no that matter what you’ve been through, he was right there with you? That whatever you are going to go through, he’ll be right there with you?
Looking back in my life, I find it impossible to find a noticeable difference that his being there made—not a bit. In addition, the thought of him standing by while I was being beaten with a branch till blood ran down my legs, that he stood by while my mom suffered so greatly, crying out to him, that he stood by while my son was killed in a car accident, actually makes it worse. If he indeed was there, why the fuck did he stand by doing nothing to intervene? Does his “being there” really make a damn bit of difference? Is it even true?
It’s Not Religion; It’s a Relationship
“You've lost that lovin' feelin'
Whoa, that lovin' feelin'
You've lost that lovin' feelin'
Now it's gone... gone... gone... woah”
~ The Righteous Brothers
‘It’s not religion; it’s a relationship.” This is many a christian’s mantra; they love to shout it from the rooftops—well, okay, maybe not the rooftops, but certainly from the pulpit. It is a “go-to” phrase that christians use when attempting to “evangelize” people. They think that this will somehow make it “hip” or “cool” to be a christian, believe that it denounces rules that religious people proudly keep, and that the person hearing it will be enticed to “enter the flock.”
For something so highly esteemed by christians, I find it interesting, to say the least, that nowhere in the bible does it refer to a relationship with god, in so many words. It mentions prayer, god communicating with mankind, and loving mankind, and tells us we should love god, but nowhere will you find the bible stating that we should have a relationship with god. I also find it interesting that the “heartbeat” of christianity—something so vital to the faith, is both rarely and poorly displayed. Sure, they have their “methods” of “maintaining” said relationship: prayer, bible studying and reading (Make sure you ask the holy spirit to help you interpret it before you begin, in order to avoid multiple interpretations), worship, and church attendance. However, if you watch closely, it will be few and far between that you actually see a christian acting in the way that they say someone with a relationship with god should act. In fact, it seems that often, christians trying hardest to “have that relationship”, those doing the things they say one should do, i.e., praying, going to church, etc., are some of the most miserable people I’ve ever met. I’m not saying this is true of all christians, but I have witnessed it often. Often-times, patients at the treatment center where I worked who were the most dogmatic about their relationship with god were the ones who relapsed the most. In fact, it was that relationship and the subsequent “keeping of the rules”, and the shame and guilt brought on by “breaking” those rules that was so often their downfall. It seems that christians have a stronger relationship with “being a christian” than they do with god.
How is it even possible to have a relationship with a deity you cannot see, touch, hear, or experience with any other sense, except perhaps emotions. So often, during the time I thought I had a relationship with god, I’d read the bible, and get absolutely nothing out of it. There were times when I wouldn’t read the bible, and while I felt guilty for not reading it, I would actually feel guiltier for reading it and not getting anything out of it than for not reading it in the first place. If the bible is indeed god’s word for us, and a major way of him communicating to us, why is it so often meaningless and difficult to understand, and so difficult to ascertain or obtain anything meaningful or worthwhile from it, that would bolster that relationship? Praying would often feel like talking to the wall, although the wall was physically present, and it might just be more likely to answer those prayers. Patients at work often asked me about praying, saying the same thing—that it was like talking to a wall. Why would this relationship thing with god be so difficult to attain, difficult to define, and even more difficult to maintain, if it is indeed the main purpose of our existence?
It is also noteworthy here to mention some of the scriptures regarding salvation and heaven; after all, isn’t that ultimately why one would have a relationship with god? I am referring specifically to those scriptures that state that the believer must: persevere…continue…not give up…remain steadfast...abide in Jesus.
There are many, but let’s look at just a few:
· John 15.5-6: I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, then you will produce much fruit. Without me, you can’t do anything. If you don’t remain in me, you will be like a branch that is thrown out and dries up. Those branches are gathered up, thrown into a fire, and burned.
· James 1:12: God will bless you, if you don’t give up when your faith is being tested. He will reward you with a glorious life, just as he rewards everyone who loves him.
· 2 Timothy 2.12: If we continue to endure, we shall also rule with him.
All of these scriptures (and many more) have a common theme—IF. If you remain, if you don’t give up, if you continue. This is a major condition in this relationship thing. Here, in these and similar scriptures, god, who supposedly loves unconditionally, places conditions on not only continuing the relationship, but apparently, even on getting into heaven. According to christianity, these scriptures were written to believers—those who have been “made righteous” by Jesus. And in spite of that “righteousness”, we see condition upon condition from god to the believer.
Contrast those conditions for a relationship with him with the way christians describe a biblical marital relationship. Husbands love. Stick by each other through good and bad, rich or poor, healthy or sick, better or worse. No conditions. Love each other unconditionally. God hates divorce. What god has joined together, let no man break apart.
1 Corinthians 13 is often called the love chapter. It is frequently read at weddings, especially verses 4-7, which state, “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”
These verses are a description of perfect love, and the bible tells us that god is love. Now, contrast 1 Corinthians 13 with the scriptures above regarding a relationship with god.
Love “keeps no record of being wronged.” Love “never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” Yet, god is obviously keeping a record, and it seems that if a believer screws up, god will end the relationship, going as far as to make sure he and the person who doesn’t remain, who gives up, or who doesn’t endure or persevere, are separated for all of eternity. God’s love does give up, does not endure through every circumstance, and definitely does keep a record of wrongs. Why the double standard? God places demands on the believer regarding their relationship that he clearly won’t reciprocate. He even places demands on a husband and wife that he is unwilling to reciprocate to the believer. Certainly not the actions of a loving god whose love is described in 1 Corinthians 13.
As a pastor at a treatment center, I met with patients after their admission, to complete a spiritual assessment with them. One of the questions was, “What spiritual goals do you have while you are in treatment?” For the patients who identified as christian, the most prolific answer was, “I want to work on my relationship with god”, or “I want to get closer to god; I’ve gotten away from god.” Thousands of patients. The number one answer. And it isn’t just patients at a treatment center. So many christians at some point, and often at many points of their lives, “recommit” themselves or their lives to christ; as if, at some point, they have walked away from god, or their relationship has suffered some sort of damage. It’s a staple item on handouts in churches across the country every Sunday; “check” here if you recommitted your life to christ today. Why would that be the case? God, all-powerful, all-knowing, all-loving, and yet, christians seem to have a widespread problem staying in relationship with him.
Back to emotions playing a significant role in that relationship with god, which raises a red flag. Much of a christian’s relationship with god is experienced and carried out through emotions. To see what I mean, one needs only watch christians during the worship portion of a church service. How they get extremely emotional. How they raise their hands (no matter how ridiculous or senseless the lyrics are!) They get “hyped” up by the experience itself—the music, the beat, and doing so with a group of like-minded people. Then watch young kids. Watch how they mimic the adults they’ve witnessed doing the very things they are doing. Watch the worship leader get everyone “hyped up”—and they do this through…you guessed it, emotions. The worship leader at Recovery Church (RC), the church I mentioned earlier, posted this about the worship portion of a church service there. “Last night's RC service was truly a Spirit-drunken experience.” A “Spirit-drunken” experience? WTF? I had to laugh at the irony of her chosen terminology. RC is a church geared towards recovery from things such as getting drunk. Find that funny? You’re welcome.
My own experience is all the proof I need that the relationship with god thing just doesn’t work. I was sincere, did all the “required actions” necessary to maintain a relationship with an invisible god. I kept my end of the bargain, and while I was sincere in my endeavors, I gradually slipped away—I left my “first love” and apparently, I’ve “lost that lovin' feelin.” I’ve gotten “saved” more times than even god himself could keep track of; I’ve jumped through all the hoops and have made a genuine effort to maintain this relationship. Yet, at the end of the day, and after a few years, it just wasn’t there. So now I guess I can add “backslider” to my resume. ~continues in Part Twelve
No comments:
Post a Comment