Prayer
John 14.14: If you ask me (Jesus) for anything in my name, I will do it. “Bullshit”
My doubt, or lack of faith, began early in life. I clearly recall a man in the church who had severe back problems; so much so that he had difficulty walking at times. One Sunday evening, the church and its pastor decided that they would take the verses in James 5.14-15 literally. “Are any of you sick? You should call for the elders of the church to come and pray over you, anointing you with oil in the name of the Lord. Such a prayer offered in faith will heal the sick, and the Lord will make you well.”
They called him to the front of the church, to the altar, where there they would ask god for a miracle for this suffering man—an end to his back troubles and pain. I remember them making a big fuss about it; they all gathered around him as he knelt at the altar (He could barely kneel, his back was so bad), anointed him with oil, and one by one, the pastor and elders prayed for him, while the rest of the congregation, sans yours truly, collectively prayed for him. Let’s look at the requirements in that scripture—isn’t it odd that a loving god would require so many hoops be jumped through before he will have mercy on his beloved children? First, the elders were there; they came and prayed over him, they anointed him with oil, and did so in the “name of the Lord”, as instructed by this inerrant, infallible word of god. They followed all the instructions—jumped through all the hoops. And what was the outcome of all this hoop jumping and direction following? Surely this man of god—this beloved son of god, was healed, and his back restored to newness, right? Well, before you go hooting and hollering, and giving god praise and glory, let me inform you of the outcome. That poor guy, once it was all over, stood up, or I should say, attempted to stand up, but couldn’t do so without help. Why? Because his back was still just as every bit fucked up after all the praying according to god’s word as it was before they prayed. That’s right—he wasn’t healed any more than I was made able to fly or to walk through brick walls.
And of course, when my mom was diagnosed with cancer, she was prayed for countless times by hundreds of people, all of which fell on deaf ears, as she only got sicker and sicker, suffering more and more, eventually dying at just 59.
Let’s take a closer look at my mother, her cancer, and the prayers offered up for her. Of course, christians will tell you how important it is to pray, and indeed it is considered one of the most important disciplines in the faith. After all, it is talking to god, our Abba, our daddy. In Matthew 7.11, Jesus tells us how god will give us good things—if only we ask. He says, “As bad as you are, you know how to give good things to your children. How much more, then, will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask him!” Here, Jesus is comparing us, his creation—fathers in particular, who apparently are awful (as bad as you are) with our Abba, heavenly father, who is so much better than us scumbag earthly fathers. He says that even we scumbag fathers give our children good things (notice, it doesn’t even say when our kids ask—something it does say about god), and if that is the case, just imagine how much more our Abba will give us good things—we need only ask.
So, all we need to do is ask (it’s interesting that here faith is not mentioned a prerequisite for receiving good gifts, as it sometimes is in other similar scriptures), and we will receive. After all, as much as our earthly fathers are willing to give us good things, god is so much more willing to do the same. Hmm…let’s summarize. My mom was incredibly sick with an awful disease—multiple myeloma, to be exact. By nature, it made her sicker and sicker, all the while increasingly disabling her. I can remember her screaming in pain. What was she screaming? Good question! She was screaming in severe pain and agony, “HELP ME JESUS!”
Let’s go back to that scripture and break it down. Jesus said that god is more willing to give us good things than we are our own children. Imagine that you had a child who was suffering from cancer, in severe pain, and crying out to you to heal them. Now imagine that you had the ability to heal your suffering child, you heard their cries to you, and you stood by…doing absolutely nothing! Can you even imagine not doing anything? Of course not. Why? Because you love your child and would do anything possible to relieve their suffering. Note that Jesus has said that even more so will god give us good things. And yet the very thing that you or I would have done without hesitation for our child, god did not do for his child, my mom. In spite of the fact that we as humans would. In spite of the fact that the bible clearly states that god will give us good things. In spite of the many prayers going up for my mom. In spite of faith. In spite of…
Of course, the christians intent on saying that the bible is inerrant and infallible will go to bat for the bible and for god, despite the facts—the fact that god ignored the thousands of prayers being prayed by hundreds of people, the fact that the bible guarantees that those prayers will be answered. They will say things previously mentioned such as a lack of faith, sin, god’s greater purpose, etc.
And what is it about prayer and christians? Have you ever noticed that no matter the outcome, god is always the hero? Always in the right. Never bad, always good. To illustrate my point, I look to a popular atheist. In his YouTube video, “The God of Cancer”, Seth Andrews illustrates better than I can how insane this prayer thing is—specifically as to how god always gets the credit and the glory.
For this illustration, as inspired by Seth’s video, let’s look at a christian who is diagnosed with cancer. Of course, people start praying for her. There are four possible scenarios:
1. People pray; she is healed. This is extremely rare, and not often, if ever, heard of. Everyone thanks and praises god, who is the hero.
2. People pray, she is treated by doctors with chemo. The chemo works, and the cancer is in remission. Everyone thanks and praises god, who is the hero. (not the doctors)
3. People pray, she doesn’t get better, and suffers greatly. They come to the conclusion that it is god’s will that she suffer, because her suffering will be used for good and will bring god glory. Everyone thanks and praises god for her suffering. Once again, god is the hero.
4. People pray, she dies. This, of course, is all due to god’s mercy, because he has taken her home and out of her suffering. Everyone thanks and praises god, who is the hero. God is always the hero. No matter the outcome.
Did you notice the theme in the above scenario? No matter the outcome, god gets the glory—god is the hero. She is healed. The chemo works. She suffers horribly. She dies and her loved ones now suffer. To god be the glory; he can do no wrong. No matter the outcome, they somehow twist the circumstances around to mean that god is in control and is doing wonderful things. And of course, they never address the fact that their loved one got cancer in the first place, all while god was there standing by, not leaving her or forsaking her. Not doing a damn thing to prevent the cancer.
There are so many other circumstances wherein prayer did absolutely nothing; my prayers fell on deaf ears, and yet I was expected to give god the glory, and worse, to thank him for the horrible circumstances. When my wife of 20 years started filing for divorce, I started praying. Holy shit, did I pray. And pray. And pray. And it certainly wasn’t a lack of faith that prevented those prayers from being answered. I remember watching jets flying overhead in to the local airport; I would look at the jet, and think (and believe), “Someday, that will be you (my then wife) flying down to visit me”, and then we would hopefully get back together. The joke was on me; that flight never happened, the divorce went through, and just two days afterwards, I received that email from her saying she didn’t love me and she never did. So you can see what a good thing it was that I prayed. I’m reminded of the bumper sticker or meme confidently proclaiming, “Prayer changes things.” Hmm…Of course, the evangelicals reply to that would be, “Prayer changes the one praying.” Well, actually, this time, they’re right; it did change me—into an atheist!
Here is a partial list of things I’ve prayed for, and the results of those prayers:
· For my mom to be healed of cancer. She died, after years of horrific suffering.
· For the depression to lift. I became more depressed than ever.
· In the midst of loneliness and severe depression, for just one friend to reach out and call me. The phone actually rang…it was a telemarketer! Really, God…a fucking telemarketer?! Gee, thanks. So glad your omnipotence came through for me in such a dark time.
· For my ex-wife to reconsider divorce, and to give us another chance. The divorce went through, and she sent me an email stating she didn’t love me, and never did.
· For my following relationship with my fiancé to work out, and for her to be able to overcome her fear and to be able to marry me. She said, “I know you are good for the girls; I know you are good for me. I have this wonderful gift from god, but I cannot receive it.” We broke up that day.
· Since then for a relationship, for a wife. Friends praying for the same. Instead, loneliness. Fear of spending the rest of my life alone. Depressing holidays. On and on…
There are many more examples, but these are a few that have had the most impact (negatively) on my life and my faith. There are many more from other people that would give credibility to my argument, which is that prayer really does nothing. One more example, and I’ll move on to another topic.
A former boss has a brother who had been diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma cancer—a virtual death sentence. They immediately sought medical attention, and he received chemo, radiation, etc. After all chemo was complete, he went in for tests to see what the result was. The report I received was that there was no more cancer; god had healed his cancer! Wow! Praise god! How wonderful. Then, a little later, the truth came out. Yes, his cancer had indeed been put into remission—by the treatment given him by the doctors. However, they failed to mention that it was the chemo, instead giving god all the credit and glory. Oh—the kicker? Apparently, god isn’t too accurate with his “healing”; the chemo that put his cancer in remission destroyed his pancreas, and he now has diabetes. In “healing” his cancer, god fucked up his pancreas. Doesn’t it seem logical that if it had truly been god who had healed him, that his pancreas would be just fine? Unfortunately, he lost his battle to cancer May of 2020.
So—you have a need, possibly a want? Well, there is good news! Simply go to your Abba—your heavenly daddy, who tells us in his inerrant, infallible living word to simply ask him, and he will do it. Remember John 14.14? “If you ask me (Jesus) for anything in my name, I will do it.”
Unless:
· You don’t have enough faith
· There is sin in your life
· God wants to use your circumstance to teach you a lesson
· God is allowing it to use it for good in your life, as apparently only he can
· The hell you’re going through is god’s will or punishment for you
· God just doesn’t give a fuck
· Unless…unless…unless…
But either way, pray on my friend, pray on. And, good luck with that; may the force be with you. ~continues in Part Eleven
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